Bullet Review: Supergirl Movie 1984

It had been many years since I had seen the Helen Slater Supergirl movie.

Probably too many years.

At some point in the recent past, a blu-ray edition was released and as an early Christmas gift I bought it for myself. This is a pretty slick package with a blu-ray of the 'International Cut' with a 'Making of' documentary. It also had a DVD with the Director's Cut. (So many versions! What is this?  Blade Runner?)

Now I remembered seeing this movie and not being overwhelmingly impressed. And I know that it has faced some wrath from people for the campiness and nonsensical plot. So I went in with almost no expectations.

You know what.

It isn't *that* bad.

I don't think I have it in me to give this a blow by blow synopsis/review. Instead, I think I'll hit on some of the high points, comment on some of the low points, and shine a light on some of the crazy things that I liked.

So expect this to be a sort of glossing over of the movie.

And expect a lot of compliments to be heading Helen Slater's way.

Okay, let's start off with Slater.

She's wonderful.

Supergirl is a difficult mix of character. There is supposed to be this innocence about her. She is new to Earth but from an advanced planet, so she is both naive and incredibly smart. She is learning about her abilities but incredibly powerful. She is optimistic and sees the best in people but will fight against injustice with tenacity. That is pretty hard to pull off.

Somehow Slater does.

Perhaps the biggest thing about her is this complete aura of grace. Whether it is in Argo City, or as buttoned up Linda Lee, or as Supergirl, she is angelic.

Despite that, she pulls off the action and stunt sequences very well. She flies as good if not better than Christopher Reeve. She shows the super-athleticism when she needs to get someplace and throw down. But she also has an almost balletic manner when she is just having fun.

Despite all of that innocence (even with nonsense like falling immediately in love with Ethan the hunk gardener, or kissing herself in the mirror to practice), she can show us that Kara Zor-El fierceness when she needs to.

Whether it is the iconic 'I am Kara Zor-El and I don't scare easily!' or 'You've had your fun Selena. The game is finished!' she is tremendous in her dedication to fighting evil.

She really shines.

Superman:The Movie had Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman.
Supergirl has Peter O'Toole, Faye Dunaway, and Mia Farrow.

Now I freely admit that those legends are all either trying to get a quick paycheck (Farrow) or chewing the scenery (Dunaway in particular and O'Toole a bit).

Somehow, despite that mega-wattage, Slater still shows up in her scenes with these actors. In particular, when thrust into the Phantom Zone, she stands up to O'Toole's Zaltar, chiding him into action.

Her speech to him, angrily saying that his inaction endangers people is pretty eye-opening for such a young professional.

Okay, so Slater shines the entire movie. Like dazzles.

It is the stuff that happens around her, some call it 'the plot', that let's her down.

All that said, the movie has a fair amount of DC and Supergirl/Superman specific stuff.

Argo City survived in 'Inner Space' ... maybe some version of the Survival Zone? We meet Zor-El and Alura.
Kara becomes Linda Lee, student at Midvale High.
She meets Lucy Lane and Jimmy Olsen.
She gets tossed into the Donner Phantom Zone (in a way).

And there a fun things like her using her powers to protect Lucy from a (field hockey) shot, sort of like Clark saving Lois. She does quick changes into and out of her costume, whether running behind trees or flying through construction pipes.

Still, this is a movie based on an all powerful energy source being foolishly lost and then turned into the engine for witchcraft. The main plot is about a nearly omnipotent sorceress wasting her time on trying to seduce a lawn boy. She even slips him a mickey in a malty liquor.

I can't believe that Ethan is played by the slick, superficial Ellis from Die Hard. In my head canon, same guy. Ethan went to school, changed his name, and became a 'villain'.

One of the things Supergirl has to fight is a possessed front loader. Is that a nod to Killdozer?

I don't think I can talk more about the Selena/Nigel plot. It is pretty nutty. Kudos to Mart Gray for pointing out how much Dunaway's look is quite similar to that of 70s Supergirl character Morgana, a sorceress herself!

There is other strange stuff tossed in. There is a shower scene. There is a drunk dorm matron. Matt (Max Headroom) Frewer plays a creepy, rapey truck driver. There is the word dingleberry. These all seemed weird for a family movie. Yeesh!

And how about this? Lucy Lane is seen reading a comic book.

Specifically a Hulk comic book, The Incredible Hulk #271.

Okay, I didn't mean to make curse the nonsense.

Really I want to light a candle. If you are a Supergirl fan, you need to see this. Trust me, you will be amazed at Helen Slater's performance. She is tremendous.